It occurred to me the other day as I was slipping on my pants that here is a not-subtle sign that I am approaching my dotage --- suspenders! Somehow as a man ages, some of that flesh that made his derriere look like buns of steel has mysteriously slipped around to his lower abdomen. This new anatomical configuration has therefore flattened out said derriere to where it can no longer keep a belt from slipping down and exposing what is endearingly called “plumber’s crack”.
I am not talking about those so called patterned “braces” which are shown in men’s fashion spreads and are color co-ordinated with a striped shirt, a fanciful tie, and a subtly pinstriped pair of trousers. No siree! What’s needed here is a two inch wide industrial strength Dickey brand set of suspenders with gorilla grip clasps that will not unclasp under the most strenuous activity. Fashion must give way to safety.
So farewell to the cool low slung hip huggers. Hello to safety, never mind fashion. Better that than em-bare-ass-ment!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment